Category Archives: Hash Trash

Red Dress Results!

Two Thousand.  Six Hundred.  Sixty Five.  That’s the number of fucks given by this kennel to help the kids at Covenant House.  $2,665 simoleans is a whole lotta bread for a bunch of folks who boldly proclaim their half-minded honey badgerness.

Maybe it was the sacred nectar talking, but the Anchorage Alaska Hash House Harriers did a fantastic job coming together to raise money for a local charity.  Last year, the first year in the packs nearly 20 year history, we hope to raise $300 and came up with $1000.  This year we wanted to break a grand.  We nearly tripled it.   $1625 came from regos for Interhash/RDR.  Through a combination of raffle tickets, sexy feather tickles and good old spankings, another $1040 was contributed on the day of the r_n.  Special thanks to Subaru nmy HUHU for putting together the raffle, ThunderPussy HOOOOOO for coaxing the cash out of the muggles with her riding crop, and Ho White and the Seven Dwarfs for keeping track of all the moving parts.  We couldn’t have r*n at all if Luuv Cannal and Subaru didn’t set trail for us.  Thanks to them and everyone else who made Interhash/RDR happen this year.  Now go buy your brother or sister hasher a beer for a j*b well r*n.

Harriettes and Harriers, you all did an amazing thing putting this event on.  You did a caring thing to give so generously to make sure Alaskan youth have someplace to go when they are in crisis.   You can learn more about Covenant House here: AK Covenant House

733 Redux

Congratulation to Red Blood Gives You Wings! for finally earning her Virgin Hare!  It’s a rare bear these days that picks up that name without dropping some flour first.  Glad to see you back on trail!

Welcum Virgin Adrianne from your henceforth and forevermore Mother Hash, A2H3.  Looking forward to seeing you and Just Chris again in two weeks.

A2H3 #731 Halloweenie Hash Trash

Hares: Rush Gumballz, Strummin N Cummin, Just Audrey

With the light already starting to fail, the pack whistled up a hearty “ON AWAY!” and set off.  “On one, one two, on where the fuck is trail?”  “How have we already lost trail in the middle of the parking lot?”  A brief discussion about returning to O’Bradys to wait out the cold was shut down as the more persistent hounds scoured further and further away from last hash.  “It’s warm at the bar, but THERE’S FREE BEER ON TRAIL!!!”

The intrepid, chilly and dangerously sober pack pounded through the blocks and around the airport. Rounding through Ocean View uncovered a Trick or Treat check.  The wiley hares laid a big trick on the pack by having a nearly no-pants Luuv Cannal pass out treats.  Red Blood Gives You Wings shrieked “Oh my GAWD my mouth is numb,” as she poured the second or third cup of rummy bears into her booze hole.

Trail twisted and turned into the woods the red flour leading to white snow.  RU? RU? blinking under a tree marked a delicious thermos of nectar.  The pack huddled together warming up, greatly improving their spirits with spirits.  Another few sips before on-away.  Headlamps lit the way around to a play check and another sprint through the woods.  I Want Anal *stomp* and Donnie The Retard decided that taking a little swim in the creek was a clever play.  Fortunately, another thermos of nectar was waiting to revive them.  The pack, thoroughly sauced at this point, was having trouble finding its ass with both hands, much less following trail.  The hares finally led them out of the woods and with a generous True Trail sent them on the way home.

Moses at the top of the hill, his rod throbbing in the dark, welcomed the pack.  Spanky the Clown and I Want Anal *stomp* made a monster pot of chili that matched brilliantly with IC Member’s pumpkin soup.  Hearty food after the cold was exactly the right thing to prepare for circle.

The hares were immediately called out for failing to have enough beer on trail, having too many trail markings, and not enough river crossings.  Captain Eagle Shit was called out for failing to properly fluff his virgin.  Luckily she was his stunt liver so she got to drink for his mistakes too.  Just Cam picked up a down-down for using mortal names.  That’s Not My Mayo… ziggy-zaggied into circle for forgetting who he was indicting.  Circle jerks Motley Speww, Struggle Snuggle, Dr. Penis Venkman, and That’s Not My Mayo… had a beard to fleshy part to beard to fleshy part rub and tug.  Apparently getting used to being in circle That’s Not My Mayo… called out Strummin N Cummin for always singing Asshole.  Strummin crushed Mayo in a trial by down down proving that half-minds aren’t expected to know many songs so long as they sing loudly.  As a consolation prize Go Go Gadget Titties braided his hair so it wouldn’t get messy later.

Red Blood Gives You Wings, Hifalutin Pussy, Mr. Gere’s Finger Puppet and Toys For Twats came out for being back sliders.

Uncle Bondage, Esq., too clever by far in his improperly fluffed virgin costume, saved Jersey Dry Mouth *cough* Cougar by wearing whitey tighties.

Hash god Mr. Gere’s Finger Puppet attempted to revive the position of shoemeister by calling out all the new boots. Jersey kept the peace by acting as Mr. Gere’s stunt liver and taking the down-down from Uncle B’s shoe.  Just Cam and Strummin happily christened Cam’s only slightly trail skunked trainers.

Hare Rush Gumballz presented awards for hottest costume.  The pack was split between Suck My Canuck, Eh?’s dead sexy Bellatrix Lestrange costume replete with huge JBF hair, and Uncle Bondage’s racist leg show.  The pack hooted and hollered until the bottle of Sleigh’r Dark Doüble Alt Ale went to everyones favorite uncle.

Swoobs was recognized for the most age inappropriate costume, narrowly edging out Subaru nmy HUHU. 

Finally Just Audrey was pulled into circle and sung a special birthday song.  Of course, no birthday song is complete without the birthday hasher being a cake, so cake her they did!


Mandingo Massacre: We need hares for November 22 and December 6.  Lots of trails available for next year too.  Keep your eye on the hareline.  You should be hareing about 10% of the time!!!