Hares: Rush Gumballz, Strummin N Cummin, Just Audrey
With the light already starting to fail, the pack whistled up a hearty “ON AWAY!” and set off. “On one, one two, on where the fuck is trail?” “How have we already lost trail in the middle of the parking lot?” A brief discussion about returning to O’Bradys to wait out the cold was shut down as the more persistent hounds scoured further and further away from last hash. “It’s warm at the bar, but THERE’S FREE BEER ON TRAIL!!!”
The intrepid, chilly and dangerously sober pack pounded through the blocks and around the airport. Rounding through Ocean View uncovered a Trick or Treat check. The wiley hares laid a big trick on the pack by having a nearly no-pants Luuv Cannal pass out treats. Red Blood Gives You Wings shrieked “Oh my GAWD my mouth is numb,” as she poured the second or third cup of rummy bears into her booze hole.
Trail twisted and turned into the woods the red flour leading to white snow. RU? RU? blinking under a tree marked a delicious thermos of nectar. The pack huddled together warming up, greatly improving their spirits with spirits. Another few sips before on-away. Headlamps lit the way around to a play check and another sprint through the woods. I Want Anal *stomp* and Donnie The Retard decided that taking a little swim in the creek was a clever play. Fortunately, another thermos of nectar was waiting to revive them. The pack, thoroughly sauced at this point, was having trouble finding its ass with both hands, much less following trail. The hares finally led them out of the woods and with a generous True Trail sent them on the way home.
Moses at the top of the hill, his rod throbbing in the dark, welcomed the pack. Spanky the Clown and I Want Anal *stomp* made a monster pot of chili that matched brilliantly with IC Member’s pumpkin soup. Hearty food after the cold was exactly the right thing to prepare for circle.
The hares were immediately called out for failing to have enough beer on trail, having too many trail markings, and not enough river crossings. Captain Eagle Shit was called out for failing to properly fluff his virgin. Luckily she was his stunt liver so she got to drink for his mistakes too. Just Cam picked up a down-down for using mortal names. That’s Not My Mayo… ziggy-zaggied into circle for forgetting who he was indicting. Circle jerks Motley Speww, Struggle Snuggle, Dr. Penis Venkman, and That’s Not My Mayo… had a beard to fleshy part to beard to fleshy part rub and tug. Apparently getting used to being in circle That’s Not My Mayo… called out Strummin N Cummin for always singing Asshole. Strummin crushed Mayo in a trial by down down proving that half-minds aren’t expected to know many songs so long as they sing loudly. As a consolation prize Go Go Gadget Titties braided his hair so it wouldn’t get messy later.
Red Blood Gives You Wings, Hifalutin Pussy, Mr. Gere’s Finger Puppet and Toys For Twats came out for being back sliders.
Uncle Bondage, Esq., too clever by far in his improperly fluffed virgin costume, saved Jersey Dry Mouth *cough* Cougar by wearing whitey tighties.
Hash god Mr. Gere’s Finger Puppet attempted to revive the position of shoemeister by calling out all the new boots. Jersey kept the peace by acting as Mr. Gere’s stunt liver and taking the down-down from Uncle B’s shoe. Just Cam and Strummin happily christened Cam’s only slightly trail skunked trainers.
Hare Rush Gumballz presented awards for hottest costume. The pack was split between Suck My Canuck, Eh?’s dead sexy Bellatrix Lestrange costume replete with huge JBF hair, and Uncle Bondage’s racist leg show. The pack hooted and hollered until the bottle of Sleigh’r Dark Doüble Alt Ale went to everyones favorite uncle.
Swoobs was recognized for the most age inappropriate costume, narrowly edging out Subaru nmy HUHU.
Finally Just Audrey was pulled into circle and sung a special birthday song. Of course, no birthday song is complete without the birthday hasher being a cake, so cake her they did!
Mandingo Massacre: We need hares for November 22 and December 6. Lots of trails available for next year too. Keep your eye on the hareline. You should be hareing about 10% of the time!!!