Hash Trash 728 – 19th Analversary

For the 728th _unning of the Anchorage Alaska Hash House Harriers, Luuv Cannal, beloved once and future RA, elected to take the pack on the tour of Far North Bicentennial Park.  As hashers trickled into the parking lot, all flaunting their tiny booty running shorts and Daisy Dukes, Luuv was overheard more than once explaining how he had prelaid the beer, but didn’t have a plan how he was going to get to it.  Chalk talk was enthusiastic, brief, and concluded with a wink and a “Happy 19th Analversary A2H3, good luck keeping up.”

Perhaps it was the lack of preparation, or the failure to have been on the last trail at the Campbell Airstrip where the exact same thing happened, but the Hare managed to get himself turned around near Viewpoint Trail and found himself within a yard of several members of the pack.  Despite wearing a neon lime green shirt, Spanky the Clown failed to recognize the Hare for the forest, a feat for which he received a commendation later in circle.

The pack, upon realizing that the trail had turned into a circle jerk, put the hammer down.  It was only through serious effort, years of experience and 10 consecutive song checks did the hare manage to make it back without being snared.  Clearly the years of experience showed when the entire pack arrived home at the same time.

Circle started with a bang.  Go Go Gadget Titties was graced with a down down for having previously allowing the sacred Hashit to touch the ground.  The entire pack was threatened with The Ice Block if they refused to pay proper respect.  Everyone was so happy to see Toys For Twats and Mötley Speww that they were awarded a down-down for auto-hashing.  Jersey Dry Mouth *cough* Cougar, feeling a little left out that no one remembered it was his analversary with the pack, pleaded to be allowed to do a butt chug off Mötley Speww.  Completely grossed out, the pack consented.  Several members were called in for digitizing.

Subaru called Uncle Bondage out for his sharp practice of calling the Hare’s dog’s name on trail in an attempt to snare the hare.  Uncle B protested the indictment until it was explained the indictment was for calling the dog’s Mortal Name.  Luuv passed the sacred vessel over, proclaiming that the dog has been named longer than Uncle B has been hashing.

Spanky the Clown was awarded the Hashit for being within touching distance of the hare and failing to realize it.  Just Austin (Texan and veteran of Toledo H3) was the first person back to the On-In, but was not awarded the FRB because it still has not been recovered from our brothers and sisters up north in Aurora H3 (GIVE US OUR FUCKING MEDAL BACK!)

By way of secret ballot, the pack was thrilled to welcome Stretch Ass Strong, formerly Just Phil, as the newest named member of A2H3.

Next trail is Thursday September 18th courtesy of Just Sherri and Just Mariel. Details fourthcumming.

Erections are October 4th. Details fourthcoming.